Monday, April 6, 2015

Happy Easter! Part Deux: As Bees Attack, Grinning Obama Admonishes Screaming Children For Not Being "Wild" Enough

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Alex McKinnon of Junkie, has a better headline and a priceless text:
Barack Obama Unleashed A Swarm Of Freedom-Hating Bees On Innocent American Kids Over Easter 
The hate-filled tyrant currently occupying 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue has sunk to new depths of depravity, as though anyone could be surprised by now. As part of the White House’s Easter celebrations (I didn’t know MUSLIMS celebrated Easter?!?!!1?!1!one), “Barack” “Hussein” Obama invited a bunch of sweet, all-American kids to the White House lawn to read them ‘Where The Wild Things Are’. At least that was the pretext he used to lure them there, all the better to feed them to his private swarm of MURDEROUS BEES. 
“That’s okay guys. Bees are good,” the Prince of Lies laughingly told the terrified children as his Hell Drones buzzed socialist dogma into their ears. “They won’t land on you. They won’t sting you.” That’s a nice promise, Obama. Just like the time you promised Obamacare wouldn’t force me to sell my sick grandmother to one of the government’s Death Factories to be made into garden hose. Just more broken promises from you, sir.
Here's the video:

And in the service of history, the Smithsonian Museum has specially commissioned Mahound's Paradise to make a transcript:
President Obama: Can you see it?...Oh, no, it's a bee. That's okay, guys. Bees are good. They won't land on you. They won't sting you. They'll be okay. Ha! Ha ha ha! Wait wait wait wait! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Hold on! Hold on! You guys are wild things! You're not supposed to be scared of bees when you're a wild thing! Now, stop, Max said. And send the wild things off to bed without their supper....You guys were an excellent audience, excellent wild things, although if you're a wild thing, you can't be scared of bees.
Now, I know it's politically incorrect to bring this up, and it will mark me as a right-wing religious fanatic three grades beyond Indiana pizza makers, etc., but since when was Where the Wild Things Are an appropriate Easter story?*

Tip from Tim Cushing.

*Automatic Comment by the Google Administrators: Spalding is obviously ignorant of the fact that the Constitution mandates that the United States is not a Christian country, and that while rabbits are halal, the Easter Bunny--a six foot tall white dude with glasses--is most definitely haram. The only books that could possibly have been read to a mixed religious audience of children on Easter Sunday are Where the Wild Things Are or any of the coming of age young adult novels of Judy Blume. The editors cannot even believe that Spalding didn't know what. Fifteen lashes.

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