Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Video Tuesday: "Nothing is Going On Here. There is No Bomb. Stay Seated. I Am Not a Madman."

Gates of Vienna featured this earlier today. And a number of other blogs have referenced it in the intervening years.

On the evening of September 3rd,  2011, Dutch Queen Beatrix and a sold out audience at the famous Amsterdam Concertgebouw eagerly anticipate the beginning of a classical music concert. With the musicians on stage awaiting the entrance of the conductor, a well-dressed man takes the microphone and starts speaking. From the reactions it looks like most initially thought he was part of the program.

"I am sorry. I know it is not appropriate," he begins politely. "In the name of Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful. I'm sorry. I know it's not appropriate to do this this way."

It is now clear that he is an interloper who wishes to "invite" the Queen and the rest of the audience to worship Allah. He is speaking to the queen publicly because, in his words, "I have issued some requests to see you. They were ignored."

The man continues to speak in a level voice. They are not violent words, per se. Quoting Jesus in the Koran, he says, "(Allah) hath enjoined upon me prayer and charity as long as I live. He hath made me kind to my mother and not overbearing or miserable."

The Queen, even after realizing what is going on, looks unflustered. Everyone stays in their seats except the musicians who at a certain point start to silently file off the stage, carrying their instruments. When the man sees this he says in slightly agitated surprise, "Nothing is going on here. There is no bomb. Stay seated. I am not a madman." The musicians continue to file out quietly.

A few seconds later, three men in tuxedos (security? stage hands?) arrive to escort him off the stage. He goes quietly without resisting. We see him next standing in front of what looks like the lobby bar, politely handing over some identification papers to the men.

Jihad Watch would claim that the man was "known to the police." I assume that means he was on file as a crazy or quasi-crazy guy, known for stunts like this or whatever.

The first video is shorter. The second has more background and is taken from a different angle:

With respect to my Islamophobic brothers and sisters, I'm going to take a slightly different tack than some of them.

When the three men come to escort the speaker away, the crowd starts applauding. It's been alleged by some that the applause is directed against Islam; by others that it's directed in favor of the man's words. I think they just wanted the weirdo to leave so they could hear the concert.

I don't think this is so horrible. It's an "incident", certainly. But it's obviously not terrorism. And while seizing a microphone and making an uninvited speech is obviously not "appropriate", the man is deferential and even polite in his way. He doesn't threaten. And leaves calmly when approached. He is handsome, well-spoken and dressed in a nice suit.

Okay, he's probably a bit mental but still...

I'll take him over Jihad John (or Jihad anyone) any day.

I want him for our side.

If this were typical of Muslim "incidents", we'd all be fine.

When he says, "I am not a madman" (as he realizes he's literally losing his audience), I am actually sympathetic...

I have tried to find his name, and perhaps what he is doing now, but have come up short. Any reader information on this would be welcome.

There's hope for all of us until death--Christian, Jew, Muslim or subscriber to any other creed or non-creed--whether or not we are crazy, sane or royalty.

"He hath made me kind to my mother and not overbearing or miserable."

The "He" would be God. I hope in the end, our well-dressed friend finds Him.


  1. Oh how the Monarchy has fallen. In the "good old days" he'd been at least put into prison for life or killed on the spot for even speaking to royalty in such a way.

  2. Argh. Am I the only one who actually likes this guy?

  3. Oakes, you're too funny sometimes.

    No, I find nothing obviously "wrong" with this guy. As you point out, if every Muslim proselytized in this way, we'd have no problems.

    And -- like you -- I'll take him over Jihad anybody any day . . . and twice on Sundays!