J.K. Rowling Reveals Voldemort Modeled On Muhammad

From Preoccupied Territory:

Edinburgh, Scotland, January 21 – In a shocking revelation, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling told reporters yesterday that the inspiration for the Lord Voldemort character in her blockbuster series of fantasy novels was none other than the Muslim Prophet Muhammad. 

Voldemort, also known as the Dark Lord, serves as the arch-nemesis of the title character, and seeks dominance of the wizarding world. He leads a cult of ‘Death Eaters’ devoted to the extinction of  undesirable wizards and the subjugation of all non-magical people – a goal that Rowling reveals was specifically adapted from the Islamist objective of conquering all infidels. 

Previously Rowling had emphatically stated that “Voldemort was not based directly on anyone dead or alive and that’s that.”  That is, until Wednesday... 

When asked if she considered that Muslims may not be pleased by her revelation she responded, “We’re talking about Voldemort.  He’s the most powerful character throughout the whole series, up until the last ten pages or so.  And this is Islam, which everyone knows is a religion all about peace, love and tolerance.  I loosely fashioned him as homage to the Prophet, peace be unto him.  Originally I was going to call him, ‘He Whose Visage Shall Not Be Depicted,’ but that just didn’t have the bounce of ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’"... 

Rowling could not be reached for reaction to the cancellation.  She was last seen donning a Burqa, leaving the building, and blending into the crowd.  She has not been seen or heard from since Wednesday afternoon.

To which this blogger can only add, if only.

As some of you know, Preoccupied Territory was started a little more than a year ago by journalist and blogger David Swindler, who had been (and still is) writing another popular blog, Mightier than the Pen. He also writes satirical pieces for The Times of Israel, among other publications. His recent Rabbit Pope: You Don't Have to Breed Like Catholics was featured on our blog a few days ago.

Preoccupied Territory can best be described as the Onion of Israeli and Jewish related issues. Recent "stories" included Hamas Quietly Looking To Sell Giant Nude Portrait Of Muhammad, Obama Cites Lack Of Polish Golf Courses In Skipping Auschwitz and God Discovers Humanity’s Prayers In Spam Folder.

Well, I thought that last one was funny.

According to Swindler, in an interview with PRWeb, a year ago:

There’s very little to laugh about when it comes to the question of whether Arabs and Israeli states can peacefully co-exist, and whether this centuries-old conflict will ever end. But if you open a dialogue with readers that is funny, you can accomplish a lot when it comes to delivering relevant news analysis. 

Straight media has failed to invite people to understand some of the most important issues of our time, but humor always reaches through.

Mahound's Paradise wishes him well.