How to Stop Being a Terror-Blogger

Yesterday, I excerpted some of Gaudete Et Exsultate - those passages that were the most blatant attacks against faithful Catholics now perceived by the Francis regime as enemies. Unfortunately, I left out one of the "best" ones - footnote 73, which equates the regime's critics to literal terrorists. I was reminded of this by Call Me Jorge (a hardened terrorist blog if there ever was one):

Detraction and calumny are acts of terrorism: a bomb is thrown, it explodes and the attacker walks away calm and contented. This is completely different from the nobility of those who speak to others face to face, serenely and frankly, out of genuine concern for their good (fn. 73).

Since the bizarrely named "Call to Holiness" is itself a cluster-bomb of detraction and calumny against so many, the "in your face" nature of this sort of projecting should win some kind of award. Perhaps Bergoglio's favorite non-mythical being (whose real existence was surprisingly affirmed in that exhortation) can give one out.

The word on the street is that this latest document by "Francis" is as much the work of Antonio "Vice-Pope" Spadaro as anyone else. That Spadaro was caught using a sock-puppet Twitter account to attack the dubia cardinals (though it is unknown whether or not he was calm and contented afterward) should entitle him to his own award.

As for the nobility of face to face meetings, one wonders how such serene and frank discussions are supposed to occur: 

"Holy Father, I was wondering if you had ever considered giving up your Peronist religion of power in favor of the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Just a thought and no pressure. By the way, are we still on for lunch even though you just suppressed my order and put me under house arrest?"

"Tucho, my brother, I recommend full and sincere repentance before it's too late. Some say it beats kissing, but your mileage may vary."

Fr. Antonio, is there any chance you might ghostwrite a response to those questions my friends and I asked your boss a year-and-a-half ago? I don't mean to bug, but two of us are already dead."

According to one report, Bergoglio has now taken to eating his meals with his back turned to the rest of the room in order to prevent possible incidents of conversation with the other diners.

"I'm not your regular waiter. Actually I'm a cardinal. But this was the only way I could find to ask you whether there are still absolute moral norms that prohibit intrinsically evil acts and that are binding without exceptions. Also that will be 83 Euros, not including tip."