Wednesday, May 13, 2015

NOT A PARODY: Actual Author of Evangelii Gaudium, a Priest, Also Wrote "Heal Me With Your Mouth, The Art of Kissing"

Scribble scribble. Kissy kissy.
(A more detailed analysis of Fernández and the tempest involving Muller and the upcoming encyclical was offered yesterday by Elliot Bougis on OnePeterFive.)

When we say, in the words of Mario Palmaro and journalist Alessandro Gnocchi, "we don't like this Pope," we're basing that not just on what Francis has said or done, but on the people he chooses to back, promote or surround himself with.

There's Cardinal Oscar Rodríguez Maradiaga--the Pope's "right-hand-man"--who, just yesterday, spat Marxist venom at those faithful Catholics who had the temerity to disagree with Francis about the weather. There's that pederast bishop in Chile. There are those spiritually dead pro-divorce cardinals in Germany, bishops of a Church of Simony, whose individual annual stipends could support entire African nations.

Then there's Archbishop Victor Manuel Fernández. Now, Fernández is the Pope's ghostwriter. Unlike his predecessors, John Paul II and Benedict the XVI, Pope Francis is no scholar. He's also no writer. He may (to quote his own words) have a "humility" that his predecessors lacked. But he doesn't have the literary skill. If you're reading this right now, chances are 50/50 you could write a more fluent encyclical than Francis could. So he has a ghostwriter to write his encyclicals for him.

And no, I don't mean that Ghost writer.

First, don't misunderstand. I'm not criticizing the Pope for having a ghostwriter per se. For example, I'm confident Saint Pius X had more than a few.

But if you are a pope, you get to choose your ghostwriters. The ghostwriter of Pope Francis is a weirdo.

Why do I say this?

Well, first of all, the most important rule of ghostwriters is this: Never ever call attention you yourself.

The current Pope's ghostwriter just did exactly that. He recently went public and blamed one of the highest ranking members of the Church--Cardinal Gerhard Muller, Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith--for why the "Pope's" next encyclical would be delayed. You see, he wouldn't be able to "get the new encyclical past him".

Oh sure, that bolsters the respect owed to the Magisterium.

But more importantly, this ghostwriter is a weirdo. Twenty years ago he wrote a book called Saname con tu boca ("Heal Me With Your Mouth, The Art of Kissing").

That's right, the actual author of Evangelii Gaudium wrote "Heal Me With Your Mouth, The Art of Kissing".

That a priest would write such a book has struck some as a bit odd. What would a priest know about "healing with my mouth"?

Stop snickering.

But Fernández actually gave an answer in an interview:
I want to clarify that this book is not written from my own experience, but from the lives of people kissing. In these pages I want to synthesize the popular feeling, what people feel when they think of a kiss, what they experienced when they kiss. For that I chatted at length with many people who have abundant experience in this area, and also with many young people learn to kiss. In addition, I consulted many books, and I wanted to show how the poets talk about the kiss. So, I tried to synthesize the immense richness of life, these pages, out of the kiss. I hope they help you kiss better, and motivate you to release the best of your being in a kiss.
This man wrote Evangelii Gaudium.

Let that sink in.

Now he's in the midst of writing the ultimate encyclical on "climate change".

I'm done, man. I'm just done. Bring on the End Times after I go to confession. How could it get any worse than this?

Don't tell me. I'm sure we'll find out tomorrow.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I wish SNL would start using the Vatican for its sketches. Every bit as comedic as the the Dem and Repub primaries.

    Seattle kim

  3. Funny beyond sad. Before we used to say: "Pray for the intentions of the pope and the conversion of Russia." Now it's "Pray for the intentions of Russia and the conversion of the pope."

    1. Maybe The Art of Kissing can be the "pope's" next encyclical!! ;-)

      Seattle Kim

  4. Can you imagine any of the apostles writing some book about kissing? The Gospels record no apostle kissing anyone. Oh. Wait.

    1. "Greet one another with a holy kiss"...Romans 16:16, 1 Cor. 16:20,, 2Cor.13:12, 1Thessalonians 5:26

  5. What are some good/funny song parodies?
    Next Step Parody - Kerser

  6. From your section, Catholic Saints commenting on Islam. See, Saint John Henry Newman (1801-1890) Historical Sketches, Vol.1. page 69 A new religion has arisen in Arabia. The imposter Mohomet, announcing himself the Prophet of God... I saw you hadn't listed one of my favorite authors.

  7. I'm fairly sure Fr. Fernandez has had mucho kissing experiences with other mens.

    And oh what joy---he gets to ghost write Francis new Apostolic Exhortation---The Joy of Sex. Yes that can be a literal translation of the Latin title for it.

    Seattle kim