Borgia Pope

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I'm the cat with the bass and drum. Going 'round like bom, bom, bom!

Today, internet checking Catholics awoke to a snapshot of two-scantily clad "cat woman" dancers doing a sexy split in front of Pope Francis.

That was curious enough. But one really had to watch the full 2:27 minute video of today's papal performance of the Rony Roller Circus to take in the full bizarreness of the scene.

What's grooving? I'm moving. I like your style of womping.

Mundabor nailed it:

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Evil Clown “celebrates” the Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter.

Please observe:

1. The people, or actually the almost total absence of them. The Romans have more sensus catholicus than this old, lewd idiot.
2. The nudity and revealing outfits, and the moves of the young women.
3. The music. Again, this is the feast of the chair of Saint Peter. Please, Lord, make the man die soon.
4. The prelates. Embarrassed and embarrassing. I think they were thinking point 3 above.
5. The old creep wants to kiss the little girl at the end. Someone call the police.

I want 16 pints of rum and then I go bom, bom!

Some of the Borgia popes were imperfect men. But myths have grown up around them that are probably false. For example, Alexander VI almost certainly did not preside over an orgy called "The Banquet of Chestnuts."

But one imagines that if he had, the ambience might have been a bit like this. No, no one actually had sex today in St. Peter's square (as far as I know). But the women did look like strippers, and they writhed and jiggled and lightly touched each other's bums (to which were affixed cat tails) to a pulsating disco beat.

Glowing up in the dark of the night. And so I go ooh, ah-ah-ah-ah!

And in full cheesy burlesque show fashion, just when the "excitement" was at its peak, the strippers yielded to a fat fire eater and a little girl twirling a hoop.

Through it all, the Pope appeared to me to be half-scowling, half-bored, sitting on his lonely throne, a jaded veteran of too many such performances. Maybe this time he'll like the cat theme, his two lieutenants, one on the right, one on the left, idly speculated.

I'm so cool and I'm so groovy. When I go bom, bom, bom!

And a captive row of twelve prelates nervously smiled, perhaps afraid the wrong body language would get them thrown into the papal dungeons.

Most of the people in the small audience laughed. A few looked like they were holding back tears.

I'm the cat with the bass and drum. Going 'round like bom, bom, bom!

Also, today, the Pope made a "tweet":

Jesus entrusted to Peter the keys to open the entrance to the kingdom of heaven, and not to close it.

That is open to multiple interpretations, I think, none of them very good.

Some took it as "pro-migrant."

I took it as: I, the heir of St. Peter, can do anything, including holding the doors of heaven open if I choose.

So don't cross me.

Bom, bom, bom.

Etc.