Borgia Pope

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I'm the cat with the bass and drum. Going 'round like bom, bom, bom!

Today, internet checking Catholics awoke to a snapshot of two-scantily clad "cat woman" dancers doing a sexy split in front of Pope Francis.

That was curious enough. But one really had to watch the full 2:27 minute video of today's papal performance of the Rony Roller Circus to take in the full bizarreness of the scene.

What's grooving? I'm moving. I like your style of womping.

Mundabor nailed it:

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Evil Clown “celebrates” the Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter.

Please observe:

1. The people, or actually the almost total absence of them. The Romans have more sensus catholicus than this old, lewd idiot.
2. The nudity and revealing outfits, and the moves of the young women.
3. The music. Again, this is the feast of the chair of Saint Peter. Please, Lord, make the man die soon.
4. The prelates. Embarrassed and embarrassing. I think they were thinking point 3 above.
5. The old creep wants to kiss the little girl at the end. Someone call the police.

I want 16 pints of rum and then I go bom, bom!

Some of the Borgia popes were imperfect men. But myths have grown up around them that are probably false. For example, Alexander VI almost certainly did not preside over an orgy called "The Banquet of Chestnuts."

But one imagines that if he had, the ambience might have been a bit like this. No, no one actually had sex today in St. Peter's square (as far as I know). But the women did look like strippers, and they writhed and jiggled and lightly touched each other's bums (to which were affixed cat tails) to a pulsating disco beat.

Glowing up in the dark of the night. And so I go ooh, ah-ah-ah-ah!

And in full cheesy burlesque show fashion, just when the "excitement" was at its peak, the strippers yielded to a fat fire eater and a little girl twirling a hoop.

Through it all, the Pope appeared to me to be half-scowling, half-bored, sitting on his lonely throne, a jaded veteran of too many such performances. Maybe this time he'll like the cat theme, his two lieutenants, one on the right, one on the left, idly speculated.

I'm so cool and I'm so groovy. When I go bom, bom, bom!

And a captive row of twelve prelates nervously smiled, perhaps afraid the wrong body language would get them thrown into the papal dungeons.

Most of the people in the small audience laughed. A few looked like they were holding back tears.

I'm the cat with the bass and drum. Going 'round like bom, bom, bom!

Also, today, the Pope made a "tweet":

Jesus entrusted to Peter the keys to open the entrance to the kingdom of heaven, and not to close it.

That is open to multiple interpretations, I think, none of them very good.

Some took it as "pro-migrant."

I took it as: I, the heir of St. Peter, can do anything, including holding the doors of heaven open if I choose.

So don't cross me.

Bom, bom, bom.

Etc.

BREAKING: Pope Francis Folds the "Social-Justice" Pontifical Councils into New Super-Dicastery Under Turkson

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Pope Francis and Cardinal Turkson

Question: What do the issues of trade-unionism, war and peace, the environment, the death penalty, muslim "migrants" and the well-being of health care workers all have in common?

Answer: Not much.

Unless, of course, you're a leftist "social-justice" activist, in which case they're all linked in the great revolutionary struggle.

I'm referring, of course, to Pope Francis.

In a Motu Proprio;dated two weeks ago released today, the Pope announced the creation of a new Dicastery for Promoting Integral Human Development, to be led by Cardinal Turkson. Among other things, it will take up the work of four pontifical councils that will now cease to exist on 1 January 2017:

The Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace
The Pontifical Council Cor Unum
The Pontifical Council for the Pastoral Care of Migrants and Itinerants
The Pontifical Council for Pastoral Assistance to Health Care Workers

According to The Tablet, the new dicastry will have

a green light from the Pope to collaborate with non-Catholic institutions. 

A major focus will be migrants, and the department will have a special section dedicated to the issue under the specific guidance of the Pope - such an arrangement is highly unusual but reflects Francis’ passionate concern for refugees.

Here is the full text:

Apostolic Letter issued Motu Proprio by the Supreme Pontiff Francis instituting the DICASTERY FOR PROMOTING INTEGRAL HUMAN DEVELOPMENT 

In all her being and actions, the Church is called to promote the integral development of the human person in the light of the Gospel. This development takes place by attending to the inestimable goods of justice, peace, and the care of creation. The Successor of the Apostle Peter, in his work of affirming these values, is continuously adapting the institutions which collaborate with him, so that they may better meet the needs of the men and women whom they are called to serve. 

So that the Holy See may be solicitous in these areas, as well as in those regarding health and charitable works, I institute the Dicastery for Promoting Integral Human Development. This Dicastery will be competent particularly in issues regarding migrants, those in need, the sick, the excluded and marginalized, the imprisoned and the unemployed, as well as victims of armed conflict, natural disasters, and all forms of slavery and torture. 

In the new Dicastery, governed by the Statutes that today I approve ad experimentum, the competences of the following Pontifical Councils will be merged, as of 1 January 2017: the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, the Pontifical Council Cor Unum, the Pontifical Council for the Pastoral Care of Migrants and Itinerant People, and the Pontifical Council for Health Care Workers. On that date these four Dicasteries will cease exercising their functions and will be suppressed, and articles 142-153 of the Apostolic Constitution Pastor Bonus will be abrogated. 

I decree that what has been set out in this Apostolic Letter issued Motu Proprio have the force of law, notwithstanding anything to the contrary, even if worthy of special mention, and that it be promulgated by publication in L’Osservatore Romano, therefore published in the Acta Apostolicae Sedis, entering into force on 1 January 2017. 

Given in Rome, at Saint Peter’s, on 17 August 2016, the Jubilee Year of Mercy, the Fourth Year of my Pontificate.