Pope Announces He's Catholic

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He couldn't stop it

Happy Easter!

And please pray for the fools.

Handball with Twelve Old Women and Other "Peculiar" Easter Customs

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Good Friday procession in Jelsa, Croatia. The cross bearer traditionally sprints the final steps. 

These are taken directly from the Catholic Encyclopedia, published in 1907-13, and now transcribed and hosted on the web by New Advent. For those of you who haven't seen or used the Encyclopedia, it is an amazing resource. It is orthodox (as one might assume from the date) but doesn't hesitate to present the range of arguments for still controversial questions--such as whether there could be a pope who was a formal heretic. None other than Hilaire Belloc described the Encyclopedia as "one of the most powerful influences working in favor of the truth."

This quirky discussion covers both orthodox and no so orthodox traditions, from the sacred and spiritually healthy to the bizarre and even perverse. Of course, we wouldn't call Easter eggs or the Easter Rabbit "peculiar." Then again, the world would be a much better place if that leporine entity were summarily shot.    

I like the dry last sentence of the "Handball" section--"All these customs disappeared for obvious reasons."

Have a blessed Holy Saturday! The greatest day of the year is only twelve hours away...      

Peculiar customs of Easter time 

Risus Paschalis 

This strange custom originated in Bavaria in the fifteenth century. The priest inserted in his sermon funny stories which would cause his hearers to laugh, e.g. a description of how the devil tries to keep the doors of hell locked against the descending Christ. Then the speaker would draw the moral from the story. This Easter laughter, giving rise to grave abuses of the word of God, was prohibited by Clement X (1670-1676) and in the eighteenth century by Maximilian III and the bishops of Bavaria. 

Easter eggs 

Because the use of eggs was forbidden during Lent, they were brought to the table on Easter Day, coloured red to symbolize the Easter joy. This custom is found not only in the Latin but also in the Oriental Churches. The symbolic meaning of a new creation of mankind by Jesus risen from the dead was probably an invention of later times. The custom may have its origin in paganism, for a great many pagan customs, celebrating the return of spring, gravitated to Easter. The egg is the emblem of the germinating life of early spring. Easter eggs, the children are told, come from Rome with the bells which on Thursday go to Rome and return Saturday morning. The sponsors in some countries give Easter eggs to their god-children. Coloured eggs are used by children at Easter in a sort of game which consists in testing the strength of the shells. Both coloured and uncoloured eggs are used in some parts of the United States for this game, known as "egg-picking". Another practice is the "egg-rolling" by children on Easter Monday on the lawn of the White House in Washington. 

The Easter rabbit 

The Easter Rabbit lays the eggs, for which reason they are hidden in a nest or in the garden. The rabbit is a pagan symbol and has always been an emblem of fertility. 

Handball 

In France handball playing was one of the Easter amusements, found also in Germany. The ball may represent the sun, which is believed to take three leaps in rising on Easter morning. Bishops, priests, and monks, after the strict discipline of Lent, used to play ball during Easter week. This was called libertas Decembrica, because formerly in December, the masters used to play ball with their servants, maids, and shepherds. The ball game was connected with a dance, in which even bishops and abbots took part. At Auxerre, Besançon, etc. the dance was performed in church to the strains of the "Victimae paschali". In England, also, the game of ball was a favourite Easter sport in which the municipal corporation engaged with due parade and dignity. And at Bury St. Edmunds, within recent years, the game was kept up with great spirit by twelve old women. After the game and the dance a banquet was given, during which a homily on the feast was read. All these customs disappeared for obvious reasons. 

Men and women 

On Easter Monday the women had a right to strike their husbands, on Tuesday the men struck their wives, as in December the servants scolded their masters. Husbands and wives did this "ut ostendant sese mutuodebere corrigere, ne illo tempore alter ab altero thori debitum exigat." In the northern parts of England the men parade the streets on Easter Sunday and claim the privilegeof lifting every woman three times from the ground, receiving in payment a kiss or a silver sixpence. The same is done by the women to the men on the next day. In the Neumark (Germany) on Easter Day the menservants whip the maid servants with switches; on Monday the maids whip the men. They secure their release with Easter eggs. These customs are probably of pre-Christian origin. 

The Easter fire 

The Easter Fire is lit on the top of mountains (Easter mountain, Osterberg) and must be kindled from new fire, drawn from wood by friction (nodfyr); this is a custom of pagan origin in vogue all over Europe, signifying the victory of spring over winter. The bishops issued severe edicts against the sacrilegious Easter fires (Conc. Germanicum, a. 742, c.v.; Council of Lestines, a. 743, n. 15), but did not succeed in abolishing them everywhere. The Church adopted the observance into the Easter ceremonies, referring it to the fiery column in the desert and to the Resurrection of Christ; the new fire on Holy Saturday is drawn from flint, symbolizing the Resurrection of the Light of the World from the tomb closed by a stone (Missale Rom.). In some places a figure was thrown into the Easter fire, symbolizing winter, but to the Christians on the Rhine, in Tyrol and Bohemia, Judas the traitor. 

Processions and awakenings 

At Puy in France, from time immemorial to the tenth century, it was customary, when at the first psalm of Matins a canon was absent from the choir, for some of the canons and vicars, taking with them the processional cross and the holy water, to go to the house of the absentee, sing the "Haec Dies", sprinkle him with water, if he was still in bed, and lead him to the church. In punishment he had to give a breakfast to his conductors. A similar custom is found in the fifteenth century at Nantes and Angers, where it was prohibited by the diocesan synods in 1431 and 1448. In some parts of Germany parents and children try to surprise each other in bed on Easter morning to apply the health-giving switches. 

Blessing of food 

In both the Oriental and Latin Churches, it is customary to have those victuals which were prohibited during Lent blessed by the priests before eating them on Easter Day, especially meat, eggs, butter, and cheese. Those who ate before the food was blessed, according to popular belief, were punished by God, sometimes instantaneously. 

House blessings 

On the eve of Easter the homes are blessed (Rit. Rom., tit. 8, c. iv) in memory of the passing of the angel in Egypt and the signing of the door-posts with the blood of the paschal lamb. The parish priest visits the houses of his parish; the papal apartments are also blessed on this day. The room, however, in which the pope is found by the visiting cardinal is blessed by the pontiff himself. 

Sports and celebrations 

The Greeks and Russians after their long, severe Lent make Easter a day of popular sports. At Constantinople the cemetery of Pera is the noisy rendezvous of the Greeks; there are music, dances, and all the pleasures of an Oriental popular resort; the same custom prevails in the cities of Russia. In Russia anyone can enter the belfries on Easter and ring the bells, a privilege of which many persons avail themselves.

Happy Easter! Part Deux: As Bees Attack, Grinning Obama Admonishes Screaming Children For Not Being "Wild" Enough

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Ha ha ha ha ha!

Alex McKinnon of Junkie, has a better headline and a priceless text:

Barack Obama Unleashed A Swarm Of Freedom-Hating Bees On Innocent American Kids Over Easter 

The hate-filled tyrant currently occupying 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue has sunk to new depths of depravity, as though anyone could be surprised by now. As part of the White House’s Easter celebrations (I didn’t know MUSLIMS celebrated Easter?!?!!1?!1!one), “Barack” “Hussein” Obama invited a bunch of sweet, all-American kids to the White House lawn to read them ‘Where The Wild Things Are’. At least that was the pretext he used to lure them there, all the better to feed them to his private swarm of MURDEROUS BEES. 

“That’s okay guys. Bees are good,” the Prince of Lies laughingly told the terrified children as his Hell Drones buzzed socialist dogma into their ears. “They won’t land on you. They won’t sting you.” That’s a nice promise, Obama. Just like the time you promised Obamacare wouldn’t force me to sell my sick grandmother to one of the government’s Death Factories to be made into garden hose. Just more broken promises from you, sir.

Here's the video:

And in the service of history, the Smithsonian Museum has specially commissioned Mahound's Paradise to make a transcript:

President Obama: Can you see it?...Oh, no, it's a bee. That's okay, guys. Bees are good. They won't land on you. They won't sting you. They'll be okay. Ha! Ha ha ha! Wait wait wait wait! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Hold on! Hold on! You guys are wild things! You're not supposed to be scared of bees when you're a wild thing! Now, stop, Max said. And send the wild things off to bed without their supper....You guys were an excellent audience, excellent wild things, although if you're a wild thing, you can't be scared of bees.

Now, I know it's politically incorrect to bring this up, and it will mark me as a right-wing religious fanatic three grades beyond Indiana pizza makers, etc., but since when was Where the Wild Things Are an appropriate Easter story?*

Tip from Tim Cushing.


*Automatic Comment by the Google Administrators: Spalding is obviously ignorant of the fact that the Constitution mandates that the United States is not a Christian country, and that while rabbits are halal, the Easter Bunny--a six foot tall white dude with glasses--is most definitely haram. The only books that could possibly have been read to a mixed religious audience of children on Easter Sunday are Where the Wild Things Are or any of the coming of age young adult novels of Judy Blume. The editors cannot even believe that Spalding didn't know what. Fifteen lashes.

Happy Easter! World's Largest Easter Egg Hunt Ends In Chaos and Tears

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Happy Easter! Now, could you please take your foot off my hand?

From CBS13 Sacramento:

Sacramento tried to hop its way into the record books today by attempting the world’s largest Easter egg hunt... 

...Aside from making history, visitors enjoyed face paintings bounce houses and a feast of Easter snacks. 

However, many parents left the Easter egg hunt furious, claiming the family-friendly event took a less-than-festive turn. 

“There was no organization at all, they all trampled each other. Little two and three year olds were crying. The parents were scooping up all of the eggs for their kids and it was horrible,” said mother Tessa Moon. 

Parents reportedly rushed onto the grass and started pushing and cursing at other children in order to get their hands on eggs and special prizes. 

The event didn’t qualify for the record books, but it did have more eggs than any other egg hunt in the world.

According to one report "they didn't quite qualify for the record books, but they did have more eggs than any other egg hunt in the entire world." Why didn't they qualify?

Video below:

Hilaire Belloc: Sonnet Upon God, The Wine Giver (For Easter Sunday)

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Here is a quirky poem from the great Catholic writer Hilaire Belloc, composed 99 Easters ago (in 1916):

Sonnet Upon God, The Wine Giver
(For Easter Sunday)

Thought Man made wine, I think God made it, too;
God making all things, made Man made good wine.
He taught him how the little tendrils twine.
About the stakes of labor close and true.
Then next, with intimate prophetic laughter,
He taught the Man, in His own image blest,
To pluck and wagon and to--all the rest!
To tread the grape and work his vintage after. 

So did God make us, making good wine makers;
So did He order us to rule the field
And now by God are we not only bakers;
But winners also sacraments to yield;
Yet most of all strong lovers, Praised be God!
Who taught us how the wine-press should be trod!

Never forget that the first miracle of Jesus was to create more wine. According to the Gospels it was good wine. And it was at a wedding.

Six weeks of fasting and abstinence are over. This is a day of joy.

Today, we celebrate with Christ. If life is often a drudge or worse, it is we who have made it so, as a consequence of our own sin.

But not today.

It is traditional at my church for the priests and brothers to sometimes invite new converts to their Easter feast. Here are good men who work sixteen hour days for God and for their parishioners. Marines, always on duty. But now they celebrate.

He wants that. It's a legitimate but imperfect foreshadowing of what's to come.

"You have kept the good wine until now," said the headwaiter at the wedding, unaware of the miracle.

The good wine. Dare we ask for it?

Archbishop Cupich Wants You to Believe That Christ Died to End Gang Violence

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The Archbishop wants you to pray for him. Do so.

I'm taking that from an Easter Week virtual "letter" I received from Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich. I assume he has a list of email addresses from all Chicago parishioners or from Catholic Appeal donors (I am an extremely small one) or whatever.

Here's the second paragraph:

Worldwide armed conflict, lethal gang violence in our neighborhoods, families trapped in poverty, immigrants uncertain about their future, young people robbed of a future because of drugs and poor education, and the most vulnerable among us—the unborn, the chronically ill, the secretly abused, the elderly, the dying—who have become in the words of Pope Francis "disposable"—all this suggests a dim future.

Now, this is a list of liberal bugaboos or pet causes, no different from what you would find in a fundraising letter from, say, a Democratic politician. Well, not quite. Note the reference to abortion tucked in there in between "poor education" and "the chronically ill".

But, the Archbishop goes on: For "Brothers and Sisters in the Risen Lord"--no direct reference to Catholics or the Catholic Church is made in the letter--we "dare to hope".

Why?

Here are the final two paragraphs:

We dare to hope, because the eternal Word of God dared to take our flesh and passed through death to new and glorious life. He opened the way for us to embrace eternal life. And so we dare to hope and, even more, dare to share that hope with a wounded struggling world. 

Pray for me as I pray for you that our faith and confidence in the Risen Christ will bless this world with the renewed hope that it desperately needs.

Is there anything heretical here? No. On one interpretation, it's perfectly orthodox. Despite the horrors of this bent world, in the end it doesn't matter. What we hope for is eternal life. And Christ promised eternal life for all those who "believe in him." Well, okay. It'a not explicitly orthodox in a Catholic sense. Again, there's no indication that the Church may be necessary or at least important in this. But still.

But I think that that's not what most people or most Catholics will get from the letter. What we are hoping for, exactly is never actually specified. In fact, I submit there's an intentional ambiguity. Most will get from it that Christ gave us hope that we can overcome the above listed horribles--lethal gang violence in our cities, etc.--if only Christ will bless this world, perhaps because of our faith in Him.

Not only is that false, but it's a killer for Catholic or Christian Faith. Because if that's what Christ died for, then He obviously died in vain. We've had nothing but violence and suffering for the last 2,000 years. And as bad as you think it is now for others or for you, it has almost certainly been worse for many more. And it will probably get worse in the future.

People aren't stupid. If that's how you frame the meaning of Christ's death (or His resurrection) or the purpose of Christian belief, then it's obvious you're an idiot. You want to argue that maybe this time, if we could all just pray a little more or volunteer a little more or vote the right way or whatever, then finally, finally, things would turn out okay.

Sure.

Bill Maher would tell you that's delusional. And he would be right.

The truth has the virtue of not being so easily falsifiable. But it also will sound crazy. Perhaps even offensive to some.

And don't misunderstand. This is not a liberal vs. conservative thing. Christ didn't die to end gang violence. But he also didn't die to end abortion. It's much more radical than that.

Christ died to save gang members and abortionists.

What?!!

Yes. That's why He died. The "liberal" Archbishop Cupich can't even bring himself to say it. But that's why He died.

And, of course, He also died for all other sinners, including you and me. Not so we could save the world, but so we could save our own souls. He died so we could see God and dwell with Him, despite everything else, and even though we don't really deserve it.

He died to save us, but in all probability, we will only be saved if we sincerely ask Him to forgive us. Many of us won't, including, no doubt, many gang members and abortionists.

But it's the Archbishop's job to get that message out. Bring back Confession in Chicago churches, among other things.

And just so you know you're not off the hook, it's your job to try to end gang violence and abortion. Not Christ's job but your job. It goes with the territory of the "love thy neighbor" thing. Christ will strengthen you in this. But it's still your job.

It's also your job to spread the Word so others can be eternally saved. And it's also the Archbishop's job. I know you're up to it.

Is he?