I lied. Or I sort of lied. Both things actually happened. It's just that Trump was not involved. And of course I lied to make a point. Things are different for Trump. The alleged father of the young man was Bill Clinton. And the person caught on video, making a lewd gesture by raising one of his legs and exposing his crotch to a captive audience of reporters (many of them female and at least one of them obviously uncomfortable) was none other than Barack Obama. You can easily find these stories (and the video, if you wish) by looking at today's Drudge links or by a few seconds of Googling. I assume you won't find them on any conventional or mainstream media outlets. Indeed, Drudge has just reported that CNN imposed a blackout on the Clinton story. If Trump were involved, they would be the lead story on every network and on the front page of every newspaper in the country. It's Trump supporters who are attacked by fascist mobs. But (according to the media) it's Trump and his supporters who the fascists. By the way, Billy Bush wasn't fired (or in the process of being fired, or whatever) from NBC for being caught laughing at sexist banter. He was fired for being caught with Trump. Milo Yiannopoulos wasn't banned from Twitter for making fun of Leslie Jones. He was banned for suggesting that gays should vote for Trump. And you weren't rejected for that job because you had a bad interview. Rather, someone in Human Resources checked your Facebook page and saw you wearing that "Make America Great Again" hat. Things are different for Trump. And things are different for you. You think it's bad now? Wait till she wins.
EDIT (11:20 PM): This evening, President Obama appeared at a political fundraiser in New York City itself and said nothing about yesterday's terrorist attacks. Yesterday morning at around 9:30 EST, a pipe bomb detonated at the scene of a 5K race in New Jersey. There were no casualties, partly due to the fact that the race had been coincidentally delayed. Two other pipe bombs were subsequently discovered. At 8:30 PM EST a pressure cooker bomb exploded in Manhattan, injuring 29 people. Another would soon be discovered nearby with a note attached, written in Arabic. Police now believe all five bombs were constructed by the same person or persons. At 9:00 PM EST an ISIS "soldier," dressed as a security guard, initiated a stabbing rampage in a Minnesota mall. He injured 9 people before being shot dead by an off-duty policeman. At shortly after 9:30 PM EST President Barrack Obama gave a speech to the Congressional Black Caucus where he told a joke about being more worried about the birther issue than about ISIL (ISIL is Obama's odd chosen term for what most people call ISIS). In fairness, Obama probably didn't know about the Minnesota attack, which had ended minutes or even seconds before. But he must have known about the others. The New York explosion was at that time dominating Twitter and the news outlets, and police and counter-terrorism units were in the midst of blocking off sections of lower-Manhattan.
There's an extra spring in my step tonight. I don't know about you guys, but I am so relieved that the whole birther thing is over. (Laughter.) I mean, ISIL, North Korea, poverty, climate change — none of those things weighed on my mind — (laughter) — like the validity of my birth certificate. (Laughter.) And to think that with just 124 days to go, under the wire, we got that resolved. (Laughter.) I mean, that's a boost for me in the home stretch. In other breaking news, the world is round, not flat. (Laughter.) Lord.
The man is hilarious. His jokes are almost as funny as getting a finger sliced off, or a spray of ball bearings in the face. But in one sense Obama wasn't joking. He clearly cares more about his own birth certificate than he does about, say, terrorism. Indeed, he probably cares more his birth certificate than anyone else does. It reminds him of all those carefree nights under the palm trees that he spent in the choom car. Before he realized that he could make a living as a motivational speaker. Is Obama a Muslim? Please. Can anyone imagine him praying five times a day? Maybe if you put a mirror at the top of the rug. But is he sympathetic to the Muslim idea, in all of its bombastic, obnoxious (and lethal) anti-Western sordidness - Allah this and Peace be Upon Him that, and happy Eid before we shoot you or sue you or Halal you to death? To ask the question is to answer it. Barack Obama hates America and everything it stands for. And he doesn't give one golfball about protecting it from Muslim terror.
