Text of Anti-Erdogan Poem BANNED in Germany

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Jan Böhmermann

I don't want to spend time explaining the whole Böhmermann affair. But, as many of you know, German comedian Jan Böhmermann got into legal trouble by reading on television an expletive laced satirical poem about Turkish President Recep Erdoğan. Many believe Angela Merkel authorized the pending possible prosecution of Boehmermann as a sort of additional payment to Erdoğan for pretending to regulate the entrance of thousands of Muslim soldiers into Europe or whatever--a payment in addition to the billions of Euros he's already receiving.

Today, a German court in Hamburg banned the public recitation of the poem. Or rather, it declared that only six lines of the twenty-four line poem could be recited. 

I'm going to reproduce the poem below. But if it's okay, I'm going to take out the really dirty  words and in the style of Lenny Bruce, replace them with "blah" or some variation thereof. Purists can find the actual text here. And you can see the television clip where the poem was recited here.

Vituperative Criticism (Smear Poem)

Dumb as a bag, cowardly and uptight

that’s what Erdoğan the President is.
His blahs reek awfully of döner kebab,
even a pig blah smells nicer.
He’s the man who beats up girls
while he’s wearing rubber masks.
Most of all he likes blahing goats
and oppressing minorities,
kicking Kurds, whacking Christians
while watching child porn.
And even in the evenings, instead of sleep,
it’s all about blah with a hundred sheep.
Yes, Erdoğan is totally
a President with a small blah.
Every Turk is heard to warble,
that stupid blah has got wrinkled blahs.
From Ankara to Istanbul
everyone knows, that man is gay,
perverted, lice-ridden and a zoophile,
Recep Fritzl Přiklopil.
His head as empty as his blah,
the star at every gangbang party
until his blah burns while blahing.
That’s Recep Erdoğan, the Turkish President.

I assume the permissible abridged version reads as follows: 

that’s what Erdoğan the President is.

And even in the evenings, instead of sleep,
Yes, Erdoğan is totally
Every Turk is heard to warble,
From Ankara to Istanbul
That’s Recep Erdoğan, the Turkish President.

The really silly part about the whole affair is that while the poem is certainly disgusting and offensive, the most disgusting and offensive parts are obviously false. Only a portion of one sentence--"oppressing minorities, kicking Kurds, whacking Christians"--could possibly have any connection to reality, and even the effect of that is largely muted by the "while watching child porn" at the end.

So part of the point was not to offend Erdoğan per se, but to do something for the sake of doing it merely because one wasn't supposed to. That is a standard part of the comedian's repertoire. In this case at least, the audience seemed to think it was funny.

Böhmermann would later confirm that he might also have had a political motive--to test the limits of freedom of expression in Europe amidst (as I would put it) the current climate of fear, intimidation and censorship inspired by a rising Islam.

The results of the test are in. Not only can you not criticize Muslim despots, you cannot even joke about not criticizing Muslim despots.

Wikipedia reports the comedian's reaction even before yesterday's ruling: 

In an interview with Die Zeit on 3 May, Böhmermann sharply criticized Angela Merkel. "The chancellor must not waver when it comes to freedom and human rights", he said. "But instead she filleted me, served me a neurotic despot for tea and made me become a German Ai Weiwei. (the Chinese dissident) " His "belief" was shaken, "that every person in Germany has a non-negotiable, inalienable right to exercise certain basic rights: the freedom of art and the freedom of expression." Merkel did "obviously not think for a moment" about the poem, which he said was only an illustration of an insult: "It was much too dumb for me to insult Erdogan. I think, anyone can see this from the stupid smear poem."

Four weeks ago, Böhmermann was put under police protection and he temporarily suspended all of his radio and television activities. I am unclear as to whether they have resumed.

Hollande and Other Western Leaders Prepare to Hobnob With Muslim Fascist, One Day After France Attacked by Muslim Fascists

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Remind you of anyone?

The G20 is about to convene a meeting in Turkey, which currently has the presidency of the organization. It is set to begin Sunday.

In just a few years, President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has taken Turkey from being the most secular and liberal majority Muslim country in the world to an authoritarian state with the highest number of imprisoned journalists.

Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers,

declared Erdoğan, famously in 1998, a statement that got him banned from participating in Turkish politics. His prime minister has called Islam the indigenous religion of Europe and Erdoğan himself refers to a hopeful Muslim recapture of Al Andalus (Spain).

He also believes that many of the bad things that happen to Turkey are caused by a "Mastermind" who is part of a 3,500 year old Jewish conspiracy to control the world. Once a close ally of Israel, Turkey is now a virulently anti-semitic enemy, and in a recent campaign speech Erdoğan vowed to lead Muslims to retake Jerusalem.

Turkey has had a complex relationship with ISIS, which at times has seemed to be almost an alliance.

And most of the million mostly Muslim refugees that have streamed into Europe in the last few months have gone through Turkey, largely due to border and travel policy changes and the facilitation of the Turkish authorities. It is likely that at least two of the terrorist commandos killed in Paris yesterday made their way to the Greek island of Leros, and then on to continental Europe by way of Turkey.

In an interesting bout of candor, Erdoğan is on record as agreeing with Islamophobes that talk of "moderate" vs. "extremist" Muslims is not useful:

These descriptions are very ugly, it is offensive and an insult to our religion. There is no moderate or immoderate Islam. Islam is Islam and that’s it.

So, why, especially so soon after the horrific attacks in Paris, do Western leaders, including the President of France, go off to knock water glasses with this wannabe Caliph of a wannabe Caliphate?

I think the answer is unclear, but the question itself shows that despite the rhetoric of the last twenty-four hours, there is still not only no stomach to fight, but not even any stomach to identify who and what we are fighting.

Who Killed Jacky Sutton?

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She was no Islamophobe. Just a person. 

Jacky Sutton was the 50-year old Country Director for Iraq of the Institute for War and Peace Reporting (IWPR), a liberal NGO that provides support to independent journalists in crisis-torn countries. She was an ex-BBC journalist and long-time veteran of dangerous environments. Her predecessor was recently killed in a car bomb.

She died in a toilet in the Istanbul airport. Turkish media reported that she had just missed a connecting flight to Iraq. The well-travelled executive was depressed because she didn't have an extra $100 to cover a replacement flight (again according to Turkish media). So she walked into the women's restroom and hung herself by her bootlaces.

Air travel can be frustrating. Don't you just feel like hanging yourself sometimes?

Welcome to the new Islamic Turkey.

Where sudden suicide can happen to anyone.

Of course, it's possible that Jacky Sutton killed Jacky Sutton. It's also possible that the combined heads of the Turkish military were hoarding guns and ammunition in their bedroom closets in order to stage a coup, the Kurds bombed themselves to gain sympathy and Mossad regularly kidnaps healthy Turks to harvest their kidneys.

What did Jackie Sutton know?

From David Connett at the UK Independent (October 19):

Jacky Sutton: 'Suicide' of ex-BBC journalist called into question 

Sutton's body was found at Istanbul's Ataturk airport 

Friends and colleagues of a former BBC journalist found dead in a toilet at a Turkish Airport have said they have serious doubts that, as initial reports suggested, she committed suicide. 

Jacky Sutton’s employer called on 19 October for an “open and transparent” investigation into her death, while another friend urged an international rather than a local inquiry. 

The body of Ms Sutton, 50, a former BBC journalist, was found at Istanbul’s international airport. It was claimed she was hanging from boot laces and Turkish media reported the death as a suicide. 

She arrived at Ataturk Airport from London and had a two-hour wait for a connecting flight to Erbil in northern Iraq, which she apparently missed. It was reported that she became distressed at missing the flight because she did not have funds to pay for a new one. 

She was the Iraq country director for the Institute for War and Peace Reporting (IWPR), an organisation which supports journalism in crisis-hit countries. Anthony Borden of the IWPR questioned the circumstances of her death and called for an “open and transparent” investigation. 

“She was extremely bright, highly competent, and well able to handle herself in difficult environments, and she was universally loved. We are in total shock. I find this quick judgment being published almost the minute we learn of her death very impossible to understand... I’m not even sure the boots she was wearing even had laces,” Mr Borden said. 

“One can never know what is in someone’s heart and soul. But everything that everyone knew about Jacky was that she a very experienced professional. She had a very positive nature and outlook, and very significant work to get on with,” he added. “She had toys in her bag for the children of staff. The profile doesn’t strike me as right. I can’t get my head around it.” 

Ms Sutton was appointed to her role at the end of June following the death of her predecessor Ammar al-Shahbander, who was killed in a car bomb attack in Baghdad in May. She had been in London for a memorial service for Mr al-Shahbander last week and was returning to Erbil in Iraq via Istanbul. 

Mr Borden said Ms Sutton’s sister, a psychologist, would be travelling to Istanbul with an IWPR employee to meet with British and Turkish officials. The Foreign Office said it was “providing consular assistance” to her family. 

A number of colleagues expressed doubt about the inquiry. Jane Pearce, the World Food Programme representative for Iraq, tweeted: “Mourning my friend & colleague Jacky Sutton. Simply don’t believe the news reports.” 

Journalist and international development worker Rebecca Cooke tweeted: “An international not just local investigation is needed.” 

Sudipto Mukerjee, a country director with the UN Development Programme, wrote: “Very difficult to believe that my colleague in Iraq, staffer and seasoned traveller Jacky Sutton committed suicide.” 

Ms Sutton, who spoke five languages including basic Arabic, was divorced with no children. She worked for the BBC World Service between 1998 and 2000, reporting from Africa, the Middle East and London.

"Mystery Pugilist" Says He Wasn't Scared, Expresses Annoyance at Turks For Fighting With Sticks and Chairs

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Kuwaiti-born Irish national Mohammed Fadel Dobbous--who singlehandedly fought off a mob of more than a dozen Turkish shopkeeper jackals (see the previous post)--just gave a brief interview to Turkey's Show TV.

I confess that I had started to wonder whether the "mystery pugilist" was indeed real, or whether there was some deep twist in the story that wasn't being reported--like the rumor that a drunken Mr. Dobbous had started the whole thing. It seemed odd to me that after more than 24 hours nothing else about the man had turned up.

But the interview appears to confirm the basic story, as well as adding some interesting details. In it we learn:

• The brawl actually took place on August 1.
• Mr. Dobbous is still in Istanbul where he has been in contact with the Irish consulate.
• He appears to have more than a casual link with Turkey as he speaks Turkish--albeit with a "thick Irish-Kuwaiti accent"
• He broke his hand, injured his shoulder and received a knife wound in the back during the fight. His left arm is still in a sling.
• He also lost his phone, a watch and a gold chain.
• He claims not to have been scared but expressed annoyance that his attackers wouldn't "fight like men...with their bare hands."
• Mr. Dobbous says that he doesn't drink and after accidentally spilling the water bottles, he tried to apologize to the shipowners before he was set upon by the mob.

Here's the original Show TV report, featuring the now famous fight video.

For the fun of it, here's another video of the brawl, this time with a play-by-play by Irish sportscaster Pat Spillane:

Video Tuesday: Erdogan Shopkeeper Jackals Pick Wrong Tourist to Mess With, Kuwaiti Born Irish Pugilist Defeats Entire Mob of Angry Turks

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Finally. Good news.

This incredible video looks like a scene from a James Bond or Kung fu movie. But it's real. A Turkish shopkeeper overreacts when a tourist accidentally knocks over some water bottles. Other shopkeepers and hangers on quickly join a mob, armed with sticks, chairs and other found weapons. But the tourist--a trained boxer--methodically defends himself, laying a number of them out. At one point he calmly moves his sunglasses to the top of his head and then continues the fight.

Interestingly, this video has gone viral in Turkey, where thuggish shopkeepers are identified with the authoritarian Muslim government. From the  Independent:

An Irish tourist who was caught up in a mass brawl with local shopkeepers in Istanbul has become an unexpected hero among Turkish social media users. 

The video shows a man described in Turkish media as an Irish tourist and apparent “professional boxer” getting into a fight with locals after accidentally spilling a fridge full of water bottles. 

Far from criticizing the tourist, who can be seen taking on more than a dozen shopkeepers armed with sticks and chairs, the response in Turkey has been overwhelmingly positive by many. 

It’s not simply a case of backing the outnumbered underdog – though there is undoubtedly an element of that in the reaction. 

More so, Istanbul’s shopkeepers have become something of a symbol for the division in the country between a progressive left and the conservative government under President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. 

Shopkeepers attacked demonstrators during the 2013 anti-government protest in Gezi Park, Istanbul, famous in part for an image of a policeman spraying a woman in a red dress with tear gas.

According to the Hurriyet newspaper, four suspects accused over the fatal beating of protester Ali Ismail Korkmaz were all local shopkeepers working at a bakery at the time. 

In 2014, President Erdoğan sparked anger when he implied support for shopkeepers taking the law into their own hands. Speaking while the trial over Korkmaz’s death was taking place, the president said: “My shopkeepers, when necessary, can be soldiers, fighters, heroes, police and judges.” 

Some Turkish social media users mocked the shopkeepers shown in the video which emerged today in this context. One user reportedly joked: “This Irish guy turned out be an Alevi, anti-Erdogan, and CHP (Republican People’s Party) sympathiser.” 

A source at the Irish consulate in Istanbul told The Independentthat the “fun incident” had been tweeted about 75,000 times in Turkey in less than 24 hours. 

He said the Irish national had been “attacked” by shopkeepers in Istanbul’s Aksaray district. 

“The fist and stick fight began after the tourist accidentally knocked over the bottled waters stored in the cooler,” he said. 

“The shop owner overreacted and attacked the tourist with a stick. The surprising thing is that the tourist turned out to be a pro boxer and knocked down the angry shopkeepers one by one.”

The man has been identified as Mohammed Fadel Dobbous, a Kuwait-born Irish citizen. As of this writing there seems to be no additional information on him. If he is a professional boxer, he doesn't appear to be registered in Ireland.

Turkish President Erdogan Builds New $615 Million Palace to Escape Shape Shifting Jews; They Are Now the Prime Minister's Problem

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From AP (via Daily Mail):

ANKARA, Turkey (AP) — Turkey's president has defended the controversial construction of a grandiose new presidential palace, saying his old office was infested with cockroaches. 

Recep Tayyip Erdogan has been accused of squandering state resources when he was prime minister by building the 1,150-room palace, which critics say was illegally built on protected land. In the run-up to Sunday's parliamentary elections, opposition parties have criticized the expenditure. 

Erdogan moved into the vast structure after he was elected president in August. The former presidential palace was given to the prime minister. 

In a television interview late Friday, Erdogan said cockroaches had roamed the lavatories in the now-vacated prime ministry. 

He said: "Does such an office suit the prime minister of the Republic of Turkey? There can be no question of waste where representation is concerned."

Low quality clip:

Even Borat impersonators are not safe:

The Last American President to Explicitly Recognize the Armenian Genocide was Ronald Reagan

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"President Erdogan, tear down this lie!"

The title (and photograph and caption) of this blog post was intended to spark interest, thought and perhaps healthy controversy.

The claim of the title is true as far as it goes.

But let me say right now that this is not going to be a pro-Reagan, pro-Republican, pro-conservative or even (perish the thought) anti-Obama piece, at least per se.

First, here's the Ronald Reagan statement from 1981. It was actually made in the context of remembering the Holocaust:

Like the genocide of the Armenians before it, and the genocide of the Cambodians which followed it — and like too many other such persecutions of too many other peoples — the lessons of the Holocaust must never be forgotten.

Now, I'm going to make some claims that will muddy the waters and may even offend a few people.

• Every recent American president has explicitly opposed congressional resolutions branding what happened as a "genocide".
• This includes Reagan, notwithstanding the above statement (which again was made almost tangentially in the context of another genocide).
• Frankly, I think Reagan had the best reason for it (if there can be a "best" reason). During the 1970's and 1980's, the cause of recognition was tainted by Armenian terrorist groups--first and foremost, The Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia. This was a hard-left group that trained with the PLO, was against Turkey in part because it was pro-Israel (how things have changed) and killed 46 people in assassinations, bombings, airport shootings and the like. This was in that more innocent era when terrorism was not so much a Muslim phenomenon as it was either the work of a broad front of loosely allied leftists or the last desperate stratagem of "oppressed" nationalities. As always, anti-Semitism was a factor. Reagan argued that explicitly recognizing the genocide would reward Armenian terrorists, who, sincerely or not, put recognition of the genocide at the head of their demands.
• But that was a personal opinion that Reagan merely happened to express once or twice. The quasi-official reason for not mentioning "genocide" was that recognition would offend a vital NATO ally (Cold War)  or offend a crucial ally in the War on Terror (post Cold War). 
• President Barrack Obama may have additional reasons. He seems to favor Muslims over Jews and Christians whenever possible. And thus an historical event that appears to frame Muslims as oppressors and Christians as victims would not be something he would wish to, so to speak, emphasize. He also appears to have a real friendship with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
• But to be fair, on the recognition question itself, there's no formal difference between the position of Obama and the position of George W. Bush, or for that matter, the position of Ronald Reagan.     

What happened was genocide. The man who coined the term "genocide" in 1943 actually said that he was first motivated by contemplating the Armenian case. The Turks tried to eliminate the greater part of the Armenian race. There can be no good excuse for not telling the truth on that. Or for not calling it what it is.

And what good reason is there to kowtow to Turkey? It was a cut-rate NATO ally and now it's a fake ally in the "War on Terror". The only thing the Turks have been successful at is convincing others they're more important than they actually are.

And for one day shy of one-hundred years they have lied about the murder of over a million innocents.*

I can deal with an embargo on doner kabobs, or sludgy coffee or bald, mustachioed circus weightlifters or whatever. But one thing richly deserves to be said:

Take your lie and shove it.

***

*I should say, I'm referring to the post occupation Turkish governments. Many individual Turks have indeed spoken out about the Genocide in circumstances that have often been dangerous, sometimes fatally so. The journalist Hrant Dink was killed for it in 2007.