Pope Francis Joins the Evil Conspiracy Against Turkey

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"Just because I look a bit like Hitler doesn't mean it's fair for you guys to gang up on me."

So, here at Mahound's Paradise we have a new tradition. We call it Conspiracy Monday. Every Monday we highlight an alleged conspiracy. Sometimes we believe it. More often we don't. Occasionally, we're agnostic. Whichever way we go, it's fun.

In the Muslim world, and now, especially in Turkey, Conspiracy Monday is every day. And they always believe it.

The latest is that Pope Francis has joined an evil conspiracy or "front" against Turkey, for branding the deaths of over a million Armenians in 1915-1923, a "genocide". From the (Turkish) Hurriyet Daily News:

Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoğlu has accused Pope Francis of “joining the conspiracy” of an “evil front” targeting Turkey’s ruling Justice and Development Party (AKP), after the pontiff referred to the killings of Ottoman Armenians in 1915 as “the first genocide of the 20th century.”

The evidence is that Christian Armenians were systematically murdered on a massive scale. Few doubt this, though some have been reluctant to say it due to fear of offending Turkey.

An odd fear, certainly. Turkey is a perpetually second-rate country whose main export is bald and mustachioed circus weightlifters who heft spherical barbells.

Now, Turkey is clearly salivating at the prospect of once again being the seat of the next caliphate.

You go, Turkey.

This sort of thing isn't new. A few months ago, the current President of Turkey suggested that the Charlie Hebdo attacks were some sort of Western false-flag operation.

And it's not just the government. Some polls show that this formerly "secular" country has the most anti-Semitic populace in the Middle East. 70% of its citizens believe that Jews are sending rats to crawl under their bedroom doors and squeak Zionist slogans.

Being the most anti-Semitic country in the Middle East is a big deal. It's like being the most liberal county in Oregon.

That the Pope has bent over backwards to praise Islam and Muslims is of course irrelevant. One lapse and, well, you're one of them!

How many Christians did you kill, Johnny Turkey? But, whatever your answer, can you send over a few more weightlifters, please? You know, to keep the bearded ladies company.