Friday, November 25, 2016

The Ten Commandments According to Francis

I have obtained a draft version. Sources tell me that the New Decalogue will be promulgated soon after the four cardinals are beheaded.   
  1. I am the LORD your Pope: you shall not heed strange Popes before me.
  2. You shall not take Yes or No questions to me.
  3. Remember the late 1960's and keep them holy.
  4. Please report dissident relatives to the proper authorities.
  5. You shall not discard that which can be re-used.
  6. Life is complicated.
  7. Let it go.
  8. You shall bear false witness against your neighbor if it favors the progressive cause.
  9. You want American cigarettes? You want woman? You want man?
  10. The powers not expressly delegated to the Pope by this document are nevertheless reserved to him. See 1.
By Francisco I with Victor Manuel Fernández, Feast of Che, anno Bergoglio 4.


  1. These are super. You know, there is something about the dark side. They just aren't good at subtleties. This is good for us, because if they played the middle we would have to wonder more, but they don't. They're obvious, at least when they're feeling the mojo is on their side. These guys are over the top, blatantly heretical, way over the top in terms of rudeness. They are causing scandal and deterioration of the church just by their relentless insults and snarky comments. It does something bad to the church to have Cardinals and the pope "tweeting", and to tweet snark? Horrible. It's as if teenage girls took over the church.
    Your Ten Commandments are great, because they fit. I cannot recall such arrogance, except the man who sits in the White House, for just a few weeks more, thank God.
    May the good Cardinals continue the good effort they have begun, and take this to whatever conclusion is possible. Let it end in schism if it must. We will feel a lot better when there are two clear sides. Let the sheep and goats choose where they belong.

    1. teenage girls took over the church...
      looks more like a 13 year old bully and his buddies

  2. 6th Commandment: Adultery is no big deal. Communion for divorced and remarried, whatever.