Sunday, May 31, 2015

BREAKING: Father Daniel Fitzpatrick, an Ordained Catholic Priest, Revealed to be a WOMAN!

"Father" Fitzpatrick

Remember Pope Joan? Meet Father Patricia.

In a shocking development earlier this morning, Tanya Cohen, an investigative reporter for the British newspaper The Sun revealed that a Catholic priest in the diocese of Hexham and Newcastle was actually a woman. "Fr. Daniel Fitzpatrick" had been living under a false identity ever since entering seminary in 2008. The "Father" is actually Patricia Fitzdaniel of Leeds.

How Ms. Fitzdaniel could have concealed her true identity for so long, especially in the close male environment of a seminary remains a mystery, though interviews of fellow seminarians by Cohen indicated that while other students remarked upon "Daniel's" often feminine appearance and demeanor, they simply assumed "he" was homosexual.

In recent years the youngish priest had become a minor media celebrity along with fellow priest, Fr. Marc Lyden-Smith. The duo hosted a podcast, initiated a series of faith talks at a pub called "iThirst", appeared on a BBC game-show together and became well-known social media supporters of "progressive" Catholic causes including openness to gay marriage.

The sex of Fr. Lyden-Smith is not at issue.

Ironically, "Father Dan" (as Patricia Fitzdaniel called herself) was involved in a recent social media kerfuffle, threatening to sue a fellow Catholic blogger for defamation. The blogger had criticized Father Dan for tweeting that the Holy Spirit was in fact female.

Neither Father Dan or Lyden-Smith have been available for comment. Parishioners arriving at church a few hours after the story hit, found a note on the front door apologizing for the fact that Mass would not be celebrated by Father Dan for the foreseeable future. It was signed "Patricia", and included the words, "Thank you for three wonderful years. Long live Pope Francis and the true People of God! Always remember, God made them male AND female. Male AND female He made them."

At a time when some Catholics have questioned the Church's absolute bar on the ordination of women, a few bloggers and journalists have publicly wondered whether the case of Father Dan, an obvious embarrassment for the Church, may in fact be a positive spur to the pro-female ordination progressives. By all accounts Father Dan was popular with his parishioners and exercised his priestly duties at all levels with competence and distinction.

In a related development, Chris Ross, a solicitor with the firm Swinburne Maddison and the lawyer responsible for threatening legal action concerning allegedly false and defamatory claims against Father Dan, was arrested Friday on charges of embezzling £5.5 million from a local orphanage.     

20 comments:

  1. I just googled Fr. Dan and he has a Twitter page that claims your story is a spoof. He has a copy of your headline in his Tweet.

    S.A.

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    1. Well is it a spoof, of course. (among other things it's tagged "Parody" and "Alleged Humor") I don't use twitter myself but I can't see that tweet on his online page. Did he delete it? It is on his Facebook page, however at https://www.facebook.com/FrDanFitzpatrick?fref=ts.

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    2. It is one of those stories that is too good to check.

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  2. Is this really confirmed as true? With eyebrows like that, and a high forehead, it sure is hard to tell this priest is actually a woman!! Hard to believe actually. I need to listen to the voice, is there a youtube anywhere of his?

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  3. Hi Oakes. Sounds like you want this Fr Dan to be a woman - your words are a bit disturbing if I'm totally honest as a priest myself. I'll be praying for you, and could I genuinely suggest you seek forgiveness for writing this and for any attraction you have to this young man of God. May God be with you

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    1. So, a priest with a generic collarless avatar (it's called "laughing man") makes a drive by passive-aggressive insinuation that I'm gay and that that's a sin. You couldn't seriously be a priest. What parish are you associated with?

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    2. Looks like FrBob may be projecting.
      It's okay, Who am I to judge?

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    3. He is obviously not a woman Oakes, yet you seem to want this priest of God to be a woman. Being gay is of course not a sin in itself - but when you publicly imply you like a priest, then maybe something isn't right. Prayers, Bob

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    4. Interesting avatar indeed. Does anyone think "FrBob" is related to Mr Tim "The Laughing Cow" Dolan? In the national interest, I think we should be told. I would like to see "FrBob" in some paraliturgical procession: if he laughs, guffaws, points and slaps unaware innocents on the back as he "processes" to the communion table, then they are separated at birth.

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  4. If Bill Clinton was the first "black" president, is Barak Obama the first "female" president?

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  5. Theater of the absurd. I can't believe any of this. Wow.

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  6. No he is not a woman. He entered seminary aged 21 straight after uni and went to a catholic high school as a boy. He is quite obviously a man if you meet him.

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  7. This is an obvious hoax, but a funny one at that.

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    1. Thanks. We try. The backstory, as you may know, is that Fr. Fitzpatrick spitefully threatened to sue a faithful Catholic blogger for merely reporting and commenting on his endorsement of the claim that the Holy Spirit was female. (He had a lawyer write a letter, etc.). Also many of his parishioners and Facebook friends called that faithful Catholic blogger nasty names. So I decided to up the ante. He's still welcome to sue me if he wants to. But I think he's too busy hobnobbing with Sharia advocates.

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  8. By all accounts Father Dan was popular with his parishioners and exercised his priestly duties at all levels with competence and distinction.

    Really? By all accounts? Whose accounts? How many? How are 'competence' and 'distinction' defined by those making the accounts?

    In a related development, Chris Ross, a solicitor with the firm Swinburne Maddison and the lawyer responsible for threatening legal action concerning allegedly false and defamatory claims against Father Dan, was arrested Friday on charges of embezzling £5.5 million from a local orphanage.

    Birds of a feather?

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  9. Like all women priests- a fraud, a liar, and a criminal.

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