Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Borgia Pope


I'm the cat with the bass and drum. Going 'round like bom, bom, bom!

Today, internet checking Catholics awoke to a snapshot of two-scantily clad "cat woman" dancers doing a sexy split in front of Pope Francis.

That was curious enough. But one really had to watch the full 2:27 minute video of today's papal performance of the Rony Roller Circus to take in the full bizarreness of the scene.

What's grooving? I'm moving. I like your style of womping.

Mundabor nailed it:
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Evil Clown “celebrates” the Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter.
Please observe:
  1. The people, or actually the almost total absence of them. The Romans have more sensus catholicus than this old, lewd idiot.
  2. The nudity and revealing outfits, and the moves of the young women.
  3. The music. Again, this is the feast of the chair of Saint Peter. Please, Lord, make the man die soon.
  4. The prelates. Embarrassed and embarrassing. I think they were thinking point 3 above.
  5. The old creep wants to kiss the little girl at the end. Someone call the police.
I want 16 pints of rum and then I go bom, bom!

Some of the Borgia popes were imperfect men. But myths have grown up around them that are probably false. For example, Alexander VI almost certainly did not preside over an orgy called "The Banquet of Chestnuts."

But one imagines that if he had, the ambience might have been a bit like this. No, no one actually had sex today in St. Peter's square (as far as I know). But the women did look like strippers, and they writhed and jiggled and lightly touched each other's bums (to which were affixed cat tails) to a pulsating disco beat.

Glowing up in the dark of the night. And so I go ooh, ah-ah-ah-ah!

And in full cheesy burlesque show fashion, just when the "excitement" was at its peak, the strippers yielded to a fat fire eater and a little girl twirling a hoop.

Through it all, the Pope appeared to me to be half-scowling, half-bored, sitting on his lonely throne, a jaded veteran of too many such performances. Maybe this time he'll like the cat theme, his two lieutenants, one on the right, one on the left, idly speculated.

I'm so cool and I'm so groovy. When I go bom, bom, bom!

And a captive row of twelve prelates nervously smiled, perhaps afraid the wrong body language would get them thrown into the papal dungeons.

Most of the people in the small audience laughed. A few looked like they were holding back tears.

I'm the cat with the bass and drum. Going 'round like bom, bom, bom!

Also, today, the Pope made a "tweet":
Jesus entrusted to Peter the keys to open the entrance to the kingdom of heaven, and not to close it.
That is open to multiple interpretations, I think, none of them very good.

Some took it as "pro-migrant."

I took it as: I, the heir of St. Peter, can do anything, including holding the doors of heaven open if I choose.

So don't cross me.

Bom, bom, bom.

Etc.


16 comments:

  1. After reading a certain commodities expert yesterday I imagine no matter how provocatively jiggly these woman were the pope remained bored out of his gourd.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cryptic indeed. Mr. Vera was just escorted off the premises. Surely Jorge enjoyed the male dancers.

      Seattle kim

      Delete
  2. Please see this article about Alexander VI:

    https://www.thefreelibrary.com/What+you+don't+know+about+the+Borgia+Pope%3A+Alexander+VI+(1492-1503).-a0268401837

    He hay have been the victim of C 15 fake news.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I'm going by the nuanced portrayal in The Catholic Encyclopedia (1917?), which while acknowledging the myths surrounding him, doesn't completely let him off the hook either. But I look forward to delving a bit more into the question, starting with your article.

      Delete
    2. The "Borgia" popes were Spaniards. The last name was Borja, transliterated into the Italian style, as in St Francis de Borgia, who was of course related. Alexander VI was actually known for his decent life and was elected because of it...however, one of the problems was that a pope's family always came to Rome with him, or at any rate, whenever they thought they could get away with it, and various members of his family married Italians and got embroiled in the disputes between powerful Roman families. The Italians also hated the Spanish and were more than eager to do something to make them look bad.

      For the Church, Alexander VI was a good pope, and most of his misdeeds seem to have been related to one "mistress." This isn't a good thing, but on the other hand, I'd rather have an immoral pope (within reasonable limits, obviously) who loved the Church than a heretical one who hated the Church and thought he was greater than Our Lord.

      Delete
  3. Imagine how your wife would react if you were to celebrate your wedding anniversary by arranging for some completely wrong entertainment?

    What would she conclude about your love for her were you to do something like that?

    What do you suppose Jesus thinks when He sees His Vicar celebrating this Feast the way he did?

    And the "take" about the Keys of the Kingdom is so superficial and protestant as to be the source of another embarrassment.

    For there love of Our Triune God, Peter is NOT standing at the entrance gate into Heaven. Does he even know what the Keys represent?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh what a circus, indeed...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YInWq7qt4PA

    ReplyDelete
  5. http://www.defendingthebride.com/ch/pa/keys.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. "As I told you, if men do not repent and better themselves, the Father will inflict a terrible punishment on all humanity. It will be a punishment greater than the deluge, such as one will never have seen before. Fire will fall from the sky and will wipe out a great part of humanity, the good as well as the bad, sparing neither priests nor faithful. The survivors will find themselves so desolate that they will envy the dead. The only arms which will remain for you will be the Rosary and the Sign left by My Son. Each day recite the prayers of the Rosary. With the Rosary, pray for the Pope, the bishops and priests." - October 13, 1973 Our Lady of Akita -

    Think things have gotten better since '73?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I imagine most of those clad in cassocks had absolutely no interest in the half naked girls, outside of their usefulness in degrading the feast of the chair of St. Peter.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have to say, this did not start with the man who sits on the Chair today. We have lost the decorum of the office entirely. He just brought it to a new low.
    To see a pope smiling with women wearing eye-breasts.
    I can't believe I just wrote that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This thought occured to me Kathleen after having seen this spectacle:

      When the dance was finished, did any of the women ask Francis for the head of John the Baptist on a platter?

      Delete
    2. The incongruity of seeing these women in front of a pope, even one like the one we have, it is surreal. I wondered if the women had any idea at all of how inappropriate that was, and how on earth this was approved by anyone in the Vatican.
      At least one could say Salome was dancing in a pagan environment for a pagan king.
      Hold on...

      Delete
    3. I think it's fair to say the women (and men) had no idea. And you're right, that's part of the problem.

      Delete