Friday, July 1, 2016

Why is Everyone Suddenly Getting Naked?

Cambridge don Victoria Bateman has gotten naked twice now

So, yesterday it was a naked man on a platform in Times Square, making silly faces at police and screaming "Donald Trump, where the f*** are you?"

Initial reports that it was Bill Kristol were untrue.

For reasons I don't completely understand, police allowed the naked man to prance around for over an hour as they languorously watched him from only a few feet away. 

Maybe they thought his nakedness was contagious. Or maybe they didn't want him to jump.

Even though the platform looked only about fifteen feet high, authorities inflated a huge yellow airbag at the scene.

Finally, the naked man got a little bit too close to one of the cops. The cop made a lunge and the man jumped.

He missed the airbag.

It now emerges that the naked man (who had variously been described as "handsome" and "well-muscled") is actually a successful runway model and a graduate of Columbia University and Amherst College.

It just goes to show you.

Then today it was reported that a Cambridge University Economics professor walked naked into a faculty meeting with "Brexit means economic disaster" written across her breasts and stomach.

However sincere Dr. Victoria Bateman may have been about Brexit, she is nothing if not a naked opportunist. Last year she raised academic eyebrows by posing naked for a portrait currently hanging in London's famous Mall Gallery.

But as one meeting participant reportedly said, "It's one thing is to pose naked and another to show up naked."

Well, I'm glad someone said it.

Eighty percent of success is just showing up. The other twenty percent depends on how handsome you are.

The meeting apparently went on as scheduled with everyone ignoring the naked person in the room. Good practice for "custody of the eyes," I guess. The meeting lasted two hours.

Finally, last night a naked pedestrian strolled through the "busy dining and shopping district" of Burlington, Vermont. Well, almost naked--he was wearing sneakers and a bandanna.

According to the Burlington codes, it is apparently not illegal to be naked in public. It is illegal to disrobe in public.

Ah, liberals.     

Last evening I took my kids to the Art Institute of Chicago and everyone in the paintings was naked.

Except for the modern section where they were all wearing shapes.

We left when my four-year-old son tried to get my attention by starting to take off his Star Wars t-shirt.

I don't have a fixation on this.

Or rather, the more burkas I see gliding by me, the more I do have a fixation on it. 


  1. You just made my day! Well done, sir.

    "Somebody once said it's what you don't see you're interested in, and this is true.”
    ― Groucho Marx

  2. I saw the coverage of the Times Sq guy yesterday. As usual- my reaction is completely counter to the 'official' one. Why on earth are the cops standing around, 'languorously' as you said, doing nothing for all that time? I don't get this. Grab him, take him to the paddy wagon, and lock him up. He was putting on a show, protected by NYPD. Ann Coulter, Milo, or Donald Trump would have been shut down lickety-split.
    I'm sure you're right- that the naked thing is up & coming. The FeMen go topless. I've seen women walking topless in NYC twice. It must have been some kind of statement. This guy was wagging his bizniz and giving his butt to the cops. Not to mention spitting. Spitting was just demoted, along with urination and open carry(of alcohol) here in NYC to ...I think a fine or a timeout. It is repulsive and a public health issue as it could be spreading communicable disease. I think it should be classified as a hate crime when it is done at somebody.
    This was my reaction to the early 'Occupy' takeovers. There was one in Union Sq(I call Red Sq) and I cosied up to the cops standing on the perimeter watching. There was a bare breasted woman there. I asked the cops if that was allowed. They just shrugged. That was early on in the Occupy thing and I watched as they were allowed to break laws cause distress, cost million$$, all the while with a police escort. Same with Ferguson, Baltimore etc.
    I'm watching from the sidelines as I see the culture, and my Catholic church along with it, crumble into ridiculousness. I don't fit in here anymore. I'm thinking about that BenOp, or maybe a flat in Budapest.....

  3. Ty--you made Mr. Seattle Kim laugh out loud.

    Seattle kim

  4. The Bear for one welcomes our naked overlords.

    Ms. Bateman clearly just wants to be naked. I mean, you can tell by the picture.

    You don't have to worry about naked Bears, at least.

    Perhaps some historical perspective. "Streaking" was a fad in the 70s that began by somebody running across the scene naked. It devolved into groups of people hanging out naked on college campuses. It ran its course.

    The Bear is still wondering what statement is made by all the nudity on Game of Thrones. But when you get down to it, Victoria Bateman risks unfavorable comparison with Emilia Clarke. So maybe GoT serves a purpose after all.

    Any woman (or man) who puts themselves on display naked before the public is asking to be rated. If Vicky Bateman becomes known as "a five" perhaps her ilk will be less likely to expose themselves, after, of course, an illogical rant about men "objectifying" the bodies they choose to present as objects. The Bear shall start a new blog, rating women who try to make some point or other by appearing naked in public.

    And don't worry. As a Bear it won't bother him, although he might have trouble with human taste. Er, as in what humans think, not what they taste like.

  5. I think as the modesty bar has been lowered, more people are empowered to do such things for attention. I mean, our culture is ultimately reduced at this point to everyone wanting to be famous. I could see how we're dumb enough to believe that public nudity could jump start that for us.

  6. A+ Fulton Sheen came up with three characteristic signs of the demonic... 1) Nakedness, 2) Violence, 3) Division

  7. Clearly, the professor suffers from attention deficit disorder. I.E., no man pays attention to her, so she has become disordered.